How to Get What You Want Part 5

Next Steps. How to Stay Motivated.

HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

PART 5 – HOW TO KEEP MOTIVATED & MAKE THE CHANGES

Welcome to PART 5.

It’s all well and good you having a list of goals to accomplish and all that, but how do you stay motivated?

You might think that you want to accomplish your goal but what about the choices you have to make when things get in the way?

Like the mixed feelings you get when you know you should be stopping in to do some work to achieve a goal but the sun is shining outside and you want that tan!

Have a look over the goals that you have written again and the compelling reasons why you want to achieve them.

If this is the first time you have looked at them since you completed the exercise, my first observation to you is that they are NOT COMPELLING goals.

You do not REALLY - REALLY - REALLY want to achieve them – so do the exercise again.

I would rather you have 3 MUST HAVE goals to work on rather than 10 wishy washy goals.

Look at the reasons why you want to achieve each goal. When reading them do they fill you with a tingle of excitement?

If they do, great!

If not, either the goal is not good enough or your reasons why you are doing it are not COMPELLING enough.

This is very important!

The reason why people do not stay focused is that they do not have goals that are MUST HAVES.

They are just NICE TO HAVES.

“It would be nice to lose some weight”

“It would be nice to have a new job”

Those goals are not going to get you up early and keep you up late! And now a word on actually carrying out your goals.

How to GET MOTIVATED!

To change anything in your life requires confidence.

Here is a formula that will help you to change anything that you want and to get you to take action!

It will help you to understand the forces at play when you are faced with making a decision as to whether changing or doing something is a must or a nice to have.

The Change Formula

There is a simple equation that you can apply to anything and everything when you are faced with a decision as to whether you want to do something or not

When faced with such a situation I strongly urge you to use this.

D x V x P > C

DISATISFACTION WITH THE STATUS QUO

Basically, to start with you must be unhappy with the present situation.

VISION

Here, you must have a vision of the situation or position that you want and why you want it.

PRACTICAL STEPS

Lastly, you must know what will be involved in order for you to change.
You need to draw up an action plan of what you need to do.

COST OF CHANGING

What will you have to sacrifice in order to change, what will be the costs? Will you have to change your beliefs?

The D x V x P will create your desire to change but you will only change if your desire is greater than the associated costs of changing (C).

Let me illustrate this by telling you a story.

The lecturer who first introduced me to this equation was quite a large lady but was an absolutely lovely person and attractive too.

We'll call her Hazel as I don't know where she now lives to give me permission to use her name!

I remember her saying to me that she went back to the village of her childhood one day and went into the local newsagent where she used to buy her sweets as a child.

There she saw the exact same shop owner whom 20 years hence she used to buy her sweets from.

She approached him and said "You don't remember me do you Mr. Brown?, It's Hazel, I used to buy sweets in this shop from you about 20 years ago."

"Hazel? I remember you" he replied "What an earth has happened to you? Haven't you let yourself go?"

You could imagine what it must have felt like for Hazel as she left the shop.

Now, for most of us a cruel comment like that would fuel some desire as it did for Hazel, and yes she had a vision of what she would look like if she lost some weight. She also knew the practical steps that she would need i.e.: a diet and exercise program, if she was going to change.

Hazel decided not to change.

SHE HAD NO MOTIVATION TO CHANGE

She saw that the cost of changing would be greater than her desire to change.

She enjoyed her food, she enjoyed socializing, she enjoyed going out and after a hard days work the last thing she would need is to go to a gym and eat a lettuce leaf for dinner when all she really wanted to was to wind down at home with a bottle of chardonnay.

I admire Hazel so much.

There is a lot of pressure on people to be thin these days.

If Hazel were to go ahead and diet and exercise she would have been thin - but do you think she would have been happy?

I don't think so.

As Anthony Robbins says –

Achievement without Fulfillment is Failure

The costs of changing to Hazel far outweighed what she was going to get in return.

I truly believe that the main reason why people break their diets or give up on their exercise regime is because they haven't carefully considered what they will have to go without or the sacrifices that they will have to make in order to succeed.

Instead they start, make some progress, but then make the decision to give up.

Sure, not eating any sweets for a week is easy.

But for 2, 3 or 4 weeks?

People don't mind making short term sacrifices but they tend to give up if this sacrifice needs extending in order to succeed.

What people should do is to identify these potential problems before they start by using something like the Change formula or by listing the pros and cons of changing and not changing.

At least then you would be going into the situation fully present and would not have to give up half way through which, nine times out of ten, results in yet another blow to your self-esteem.

Comments such as "I have no will-power" probably mean that you are enjoying doing something else than what you are actually doing - and there is nothing wrong with that.

My wife always uses the excuse about having no will power. She adores her food and so do I.

She's not even big.

I keep stressing to her though that she relates more pleasure to eating than she does to dieting and that she only wants to change to please other people.

She is a very beautiful woman, happy the way she is and I love her very much.

So, when faced with a decision to change think of the formula, work it out for yourself and then have the confidence and conviction to see it through.

Now go back over the things that you have written down where you lack motivation and put them into this formula – see what dynamics are at play.

SHOULD I CHANGE? Remember D x V x P > C

That’s it for this module, see you next time with:

What To Do If You’re Struggling to Find Your Passion

 

“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

~Howard Thurman~

 

This isn’t my story, but I post it to illustrate a point. What to do when your struggling...

 

Just a few months into my first cubicle-bound job, I had the life-altering realization that most everyone comes to eventually: I’m going to work a job every day for the next 40+ of my life. If I want to make that enjoyable, I need to be living my purpose and engaging my passions.

 

Knowing that life is short, and the best time to change is now, I dove headfirst into reading and implementing advice on how I could discover and live my passion.

 

In the three-year search, I registered for hobbies that interested me. I researched and pursued various careers. I talked to my friends about what I was good at. I encouraged my husband to find his passions so that we were both supported in this dream. I waited patiently and openly for inspiration.

 

Soon enough, some of my passions bubbled up to the surface in easily-identifiable ways.

 

I loved writing, interacting with people one on one, business, yoga, rescue animals, chocolate, coffee houses, and digital newspapers.

 

To see what ideas “stuck,” I started businesses, changed careers, wrote freelance, initiated a local yoga community, volunteered, and truly

“discovered” myself.

 

But these attempts at finding a passion that could become my career always happened the same way—I’d start out with massive bursts of energy, produce great results, and then hear the small voice in my heart whisper, “This isn’t it…there’s something else out there for you.”

 

After a couple of years of trying and failing at finding the passion that would stick, I decided to just stop looking for a while.

 

In the meantime, I would work hard at my job and come to terms with the fact that the most people never have careers that engage their passions - and maybe that’s okay. After all, I could still have passions outside my work.

 

But the drive to create a career around my passion never went away.

 

My turning point came one night as I was sitting at home with my husband watching “The Legend of Baggar Vance”—a movie about a down-on-his-luck golfer who enlists the help of an inspirational golf caddy (Baggar Vance) to perfect his game.

 

In one of the scenes, Baggar says to the golfer:

 

“Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing. Something we were born with. Something that’s ours and ours alone. Something that can’t be taught to you or learned. Something that got to be remembered.”

 

And I sat stunned for a second. Although the movie went on, my mind was stuck on this idea: your passion—your one true authentic gift—has to be remembered.

 

For so long, I had been searching, trying new things, exploring jobs, careers and “attractive” passions outside of myself—without ever trying to remember what passions have been with me all along.

 

In an instant of clarity, I remembered that for my whole life, I have been in love with business and personal finance. My father and grandmother had always been very determined to teach me about the flow of money and how starting a business could ensure my freedom.

 

From these constant little lessons growing up, I picked up an interest in business that had permeated my life in ways that I just didn’t really recognize.

 

I remembered back to the time I was nine years old and told my grandma I’d love to be a financial planner to help people with their business and money, the way she’d helped me develop those skills.

 

I remembered to how I sat enthralled at reading business magazines on airplanes. I remembered how what I really wanted out of my career was to run my own business one day. I realized that this was a deep, steady current that connected many phases of my life.

 

But how could my passion be so…plain? Aren’t passions supposed to be artistic, exotic, or inspirational? Aren’t passions supposed to wow people?

 

Perhaps not. Perhaps my passion for the mundane things could be a way to bring life to an otherwise mundane topic—the way your crazy history teacher started talking really fast and excitedly about the Civil Rights movement, making you excited about it too.

 

Since this realization, I’ve started pursuing a business in financial coaching, and I am so happy. The small voice in my heart is whispering, “You’re on the right track!” for the first time. I haven’t been distracted by what other things I could be doing. Even better, I am engaging my other passions too.

 

So if you’re struggling to find your passion, even after trying what feels like doing everything, I encourage you to do this: sit down, open your journal, pour a cup of tea, and try to remember your passions.

 

Think back on your life, and remember things you wanted to be, the habits you developed naturally, the games you played, the books you read, and see how they may apply to your life and career today. You might be surprised by the connection points that have been right under your nose all along.

Good Leader

Position Yourself as a Leader in 20 Minutes or Less

Positioning yourself as a leader will make your work more meaningful and advance your career. You can gain influence based on your title, or on knowledge and skills you already possess.

While it could take years to climb the ladder up into senior management, tapping into your personal strengths is something you can start doing right now. Learn how to use your current assets to build up your clout in the workplace.

Using Your Knowledge to Position Yourself as a Leader

Read daily. Pick up books about business advice or any topic that interests you. The more you read, the better prepared you’ll be to contribute to any discussion. You’ll sound like a leader whether you’re engaging in small talk or critiquing a new logo.
Sign up for training. Take advantage of programs your employer offers. Brush up on your high school Spanish or become proficient with a new software package.
Browse during breaks. Those brief intervals you spend on hold or pausing between meetings can be put to good use. Break out your phone and search for industry news. You’ll stand out if you’re the first one to notice a major lawsuit or merger.
Take a course. Many adults juggle full time jobs while going back to school. Schedule an appointment at your local university to see what you need to complete your degree.
Consult an expert. Contact others in your network who would be willing to share their wisdom. Interview a colleague who has published a new book and promote her work on your personal blog. You’ll both benefit from increased information and publicity.
Shadow a star employee. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, a high performer may be pleased to show you the ropes. Let them know that you admire their style. Offer to assist them with specific tasks so you can learn from their example.
Using Your Skills to Position Yourself as a Leader

Take responsibility. Prove that you can be trusted to live up to your obligations. Develop a reputation for completing assignments and meeting deadlines.
Document your accomplishments. Make it a habit to write down your ideas and achievements. Looking over your victories will boost your confidence. Even the missteps will suggest adjustments you can make to do better next time.
Express enthusiasm. Attitude is an important part of leadership. Speak kindly to your coworkers and care about their welfare. Find gratification in your work and how it serves the community.
Take initiative. Be willing to go the extra mile. Volunteer for tasks that fall outside of your job description even if they’re less than glamorous. Pitch in when the sales team needs a hand entering quarterly data.
Share feedback. Thank people for commenting on your performance and recommending steps you can take to further your professional growth. Offer constructive and tactful criticism that enables others to do the same.
Give generously. Above all, let your colleagues know that they can count on you when they need your time and expertise. Strive to be a valuable team member. Keep an eye out for anyone who’s struggling so you can create mutually beneficial relationships.
Transform yourself into the kind of leader other employees will want to follow. Your knowledge and skills are valuable resources that can help you to develop your talents and inspire others.

Get What You Want Part 4

PART 4

OVERCOMING PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES

Whilst trying to attain your goals there will be obstacles that will get in your way.

Both physical and mental problems!

You will face setbacks  thats just a fact of life. But instead of beating yourself up or giving in  learn from them.

Also, have you got the attitude to succeed?

Within this lesson also I will be looking at your beliefs!

Refocusing after setbacks

How many times have you started a diet, a new way of thinking, or tried something new and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were?
Don't worry, you are not the only one!

Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time - they are a natural activity of life.
There are two ways of facing difficulties.

You either change or alter the difficulty or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it.

Deal with difficulties correctly and it will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and they can do some serious damage to your self worth.

Your response to issues and difficulties

When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.
There is an unwritten rule that says:

Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!

So, if after setback you ask yourself something like

"Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?"

Your mind will probably come out with:

"Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!"

Sound familiar?
Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:

"What did I learn from this setback for next time?"

Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.
Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:

Acknowledge that it has happened. Don't hide from it. These things happen. So what? 
What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
What is good about this situation?
How can I make the most of this situation?
What can I learn from it?
What are the facts about this problem?
How can we make it a successful outcome? 
Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out. 
View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem

Get your belief system right for success!

Think about the negative disempowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback.

What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers!

Write these down now and make them a habit.

How to Develop Strong Inner Beliefs

Simple questions you can ask yourself to begin to clarify and develop your strong inner belief system, so that you can make decisions that are right for you.

Self acceptance gives you the much needed energy and room to grow

Having a strong value/inner belief system is very much dependent on our ability to accept ourselves, who we are, what we feel, how we see the world independent of what others say, think, feel and do.

The benefits of a strong inner belief system are varied and great:
Stronger self confidence
Healthy self esteem
Greater life satisfaction
Comfort with self and others

But how exactly does one go about developing this strong inner belief system?

Following are some questions for you to consider.

Finding the answers to these can help you begin to weed out the muck of "everybody else says," and get back to the purity and perfection of self-expression.

1. Explore what you currently believe: about work, life, people, yourself
Try a free writing exercise.
Write each word (work, life, etc.) at the top of a page (one for each page) and then free associate for each word.
Write down whatever thoughts might be conjured up by the word at the top of the page.
Write until each page is full.
2. How much of what you believe is your own?
Take a look at what your wrote on each page.
Identify messages that may have come from parents, friends, family, peers, teachers, etc.
Identify the recurring themes?
Now, highlight the things you feel truly reflect who you are and what you believe.
3. How much of it is enabling versus disabling?
When you look at the messages that came from others, are they enabling and empowering?
Or are they limiting?
Now, look at the ones that reflect your own inner belief systems are those empowering or limiting?
How do they make you feel?
4. What do you want to believe?
Consider your true beliefs.
Do they reflect how you want to feel about life, work, people, yourself?
Write each idea or thought down on the left hand side of a page, and on the right hand side, write how you'd like to feel/think about each instead.
Reprogram yourself by identifying these limiting thoughts as they pop into your head, and replacing them with the thoughts and ideas you identified on the right hand side instead.
If you continue this exercise, you'll find the old limiting thoughts creeping up less and less, and the new empowering thoughts will begin to take their place.
5. What messages about life, people, work, yourself did you get from family as you shaped your personality?
Be prepared.
Messages from family members will continue to get repeated by them.
If you have chosen to reprogram any of their thoughts, values and beliefs, then be prepared to counter these beliefs whenever a family member articulates them. 
6. What's your response when you express your belief and someone disagrees?
Consider how you might respond, should you share your beliefs with others, and find that they disagree.
Here's a hint: don't change your mind. It's ok that someone else believes differently from you that's what makes the world go round after all.
Instead, simply state that you see life/work/people/etc. differently, and then repeat and reconfirm your belief to yourself.
As you explore your answers to these questions, and explore the exercises associated with each, you'll begin to realise that you do have a very strong belief system.

You may not always enforce or communicate it, but it's there, just as your spirit and soul give you life.

The hard part then, is in developing confidence in your ability to express, in an unwavering fashion, these beliefs.

Others will challenge, but see your ability to continue with your belief system intact as part of you own personal growth an opportunity to test your belief, and should it continue to feel solid, restate and reinforce it strongly.

Once your belief system has been strengthened, you will find that others, having less confidence in their own beliefs, will seek you out.

Grow also then, by helping and encouraging others to tap into their own belief system and follow the process you used to get where you are now.

Thats it for this module  you got some homework to do!

Stress Relief

Seeking Your Own Level for Stress Relief

It does''t matter what you are talking about in life, it always helps if you have a balance. This balance can not only be in a physical way, it may also be in a mental way and at times, it is not obvious to the eye. A good example of this is whenever you're dealing with stressful situations, either as a result of an imbalance in your life in some way or another or perhaps the imbalance is being caused by the stressful situation. In order for you to overcome it, you may need to find a way to seek your balance again.

There are numerous ways for you to be able to seek this balance but one of the easiest is for you to change your diet. There is an old saying that we are what we eat, and nothing can be more true as far as our stress levels are concerned. Whenever we are unable to handle the stress that life is throwing at us on a regular basis, many of us tend to console ourselves with food. Very rarely is this food healthy for us and it only helps to make the imbalance that is within our bodies even worse. By introducing healthy eating into our life again, we help to achieve a balance that enables us to be able to deal with stress successfully.

Another way to deal with stress is exercise. Increasing our activity during the day can help alleviate the pressure. Getting up and moving, if only for a few minutes gets us up and away from the problem thus maybe finding a solution to what is causing the stress. Exercise not only clears our mind but helps flush out toxins which can also be a stress reliever. Twenty to thirty minutes a day can lower blood pressure and can help us shed unwanted pounds.

We may also need to seek some kind of an outside force in order to help us to deal with the stress in a successful way. For example, acupuncture is something that may be used in order to reduce our stress levels. It works on an ancient Chinese principle that there is energy that flows throughout the body and at times, this energy gets blocked by imbalances within the body. Acupuncture, and other related natural medical treatments help to restore this free flow of energy to the body and allow us to overcome our stress naturally.

One final thing that you may want to try is just taking a little bit of time for yourself on occasion. Although it may not be possible for you to take long stretches of time in order to meditate and relax, it does help for you to relax your mind and go to a place where it is peaceful. Even while you're sitting at your desk, you can close your eyes for a minute and really enjoy getting away from it all in this way. Even a minute or two will do a lot in helping you to reduce your stress and help you to move on with the day.

 

How to Get What You Want Part 3

HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

Part 3:

There is quire a bit here, so let's get to it.

Fire the gun!  How to take action

Welcome to part 3!

Lets have a quick recap at where we are at.

So far you have had a look at what success means to you and you have written out what you want to be remembered for when you have gone.

You should also have a list of goals and the compelling reasons WHY you want to achieve them.

Take the list of goals out and re read the reasons.

Do they make you feel energized and motivated to achieving them?

If they dont, you either need to write down better reasons or scrap the goal altogether!

You will only achieve a goal when it becomes an absolute MUST for you to do so.

It is the REASONS WHY you are doing the goal and not the goal itself that will get you to take action.

Here are some examples of goals that you might include for yourself:

Losing some weight
Running your own business
Gaining a better job or promotion
Owning a new car
Being more assertive
Having more time with your family and children
Earn more money
Learn to swim
etc

In its simplest form the definition of setting and achieving a goal is this:

You must first decide what your GOAL actually is. Then you must define it in comprehensive detail. You must then lay out the steps by which you intend to reach the goal and lastly you must put a deadline or a time limit to you achieving your goal.

You must also have a reason why you want the goal or you wouldnt have the goal in the first place!

Id like you to compare goal setting with going on a long distance car journey.

This comparison will make the whole concept easier for you to understand.

You wouldnt think of planning the journey without knowing where you were going to go and why and without having a map to guide you.

Firstly, before you even got into the car you would know exactly where you were going to go and why you want to go there i.e visit relatives, to go to the gym to get fit etc

You would have mapped out the route on how you were going to get there and thirdly you would have given yourself enough time to reach your destination.

Sounds familiar doesnt it?

Well, goal setting uses exactly the same method - only the car is you and the journey is your life.

It is no use thinking in a vague sort of way either when it comes to setting your goals.

If you were to ask anyone on the street to define what their goals in life were you would invariably get responses such as I want to be rich, I want to be happy, I want to be famous.

You would be fooled into thinking that these were goals, but they are not.

They are just generalizations that are desired by everyone.

A goal is something that you can define in great detail, and after having identified your goal and why this is the next key step that you have to do.

If, for example, one of your goals is to buy a new car, you must define the exact model, the color, the interior, the price and so on.

Make sure that you can picture it clearly in your mind and try and get away from those generalizations.

Be specific and be precise.

GOAL = TO BUY A NEW CAR
MODEL - BMW 3 series sports convertible
COLOUR - Metallic Blue
INTERIOR - Beige leather
PRICE  £25,450
EXTRAS - Air conditioning, CD Player, Electric windows..........

What color are the seats?

What is the number plate?

What makes is the CD Player?

Has it got Electric Windows?

A sunroof?

Is that Electric?

Has it got alloy wheels?

HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL - PLANNING AND ACTION

When you know what you want to achieve and have defined it in detail, the next step is to actually plan and map out exactly how you are going to achieve it.

Remember, any goal can be achieved, but first it is a lot easier if it is broken down into a series of sub goals

Each smaller goal should lead you, one day/week/month at a time, to your larger goal.

Example : GOAL = To lose some weight

If you wanted to lose some weight we would have to make the goal specific.

So the goal would look like this -  To lose 12 lbs in 8 weeks.

The next stage would be to break down the large goal into sub goals.

You could set yourself sub goals of losing 1.5 lbs per week for the 8 weeks.

I lost over 2 stone in weight by following this method, it is effective and it works.

Write down a table and post it on a wall so that you can see it. Suppose that you weigh 12 stone now and want to lose the 12 lbs - your chart would look something like this :
GOAL : TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT

SPECIFICS: 12 lbs in 8 Weeks
WEIGHT AS AT xx/xx/01 = 12 Stone
TARGET WEIGHT AS AT xx/xx/01 = 11 Stone 2 lbs

GOAL LOSS

WEIGHT

ACTUAL

End of week 1

1.5 lbs

11st 12.5 lbs

End of week 2

1.5 lbs

11st 11 lbs

End of week 3

1.5 lbs

11st 9.5 lbs

End of week 4

1.5 lbs

11st 8 lbs

End of week 5

1.5 lbs

11st 6.5 lbs

End of week 6

1.5 lbs

11st 5 lbs

End of week 7

1.5 lbs

11st 3.5 lbs

End of week 8

1.5 lbs

11st 2 lbs

In addition to the above you would need to devise an exercise plan and a healthy diet to help you achieve your goal.

Brainstorm all of the actions that you need to do in order to achieve this goal and chunk them into activities of a similar nature.

For example:

Exercise  what exercises? How often? Do I need new kit? How much?
Diet  What food?, How often?, How many calories?, Shopping List?
Type of gym  Locations?, Prices?, Clients?

It would be prudent to decide on what days you are going to exercise, what exercise you are going to do on that day and for how long.

Produce another table similar to that already produced with your exercise routine and healthy eating plan and stick to it.

The method used to illustrate the weight  loss example is sometimes referred as  stair stepping or chunking which means taking a big goal and breaking it down into smaller components.

By doing this you will have enjoyed any number of successes in the course of pursuing your final goal.

I always like to compare the stair stepping method with eating a PIZZA!

Think of it this way 

If you tried to eat an entire pizza in one mouthful, you would choke. But by cutting it into smaller, bite sized pieces it is more digestible and more enjoyable.

Someone once said

Success by the inch is a synch, by the yard it is hard.

Break your goals down and they will become a lot easier for you to achieve. 

I always like to say that if you concentrate on your sub goals, your major goal will take care of itself.

GET THE TIMING RIGHT!

One of the most important factors in goal attainment is setting yourself deadlines to have each sub/major goal achieved.

Putting things off until tomorrow or next week will turn into another tomorrow or another week.

In order to understand this Id just like to explain the different types of a word that no would-be successful person should have in their vocabulary - PROCRASTINATION.

When we talk about goals you could put things off by never choosing to do anything.

You could also put things off by choosing to do something, but then you never start it.

Then you could put things off by starting something, but then you dont continue it.

And then you could continue something, but then you dont finish it.

It is vital that you dont do something tomorrow what you really could have done today.

At every stage of your goal you must set yourself time limits and deadlines so that you dont put things off until tomorrow.

Breakdown your goal, allot your time and formulate your deadlines.

I like to call it a TIMETABLE TO SUCCESS.

One thing that your goals must be are both achievable and realistic.

A goal of passing your driving test after only 2 lessons is probably going to be out of your reach. Passing after 20 lessons is more attainable and more realistic.

The goal shouldnt exceed your ability, but on the other hand they should exploit them to the fullest. Thus closing the gap between potential and performance.

This is a really important point.

Establishing realistic aims creates the habit of succeeding when each one is attained, and Success breeds Success.

This will build up your confidence and help you to attain further goals.

Also, by setting goals, ones that are measurable and realistic to achieve, its easier to make corrections to them should you go off target.

If any of you are managers, would-be managers or have people working for you, please bear this in mind.

If you set unattainable or make unrealistic demands on your workforce, you will only do more harm to their motivation, self-esteem and their confidence, resulting in a reduction in productivity.

The same will happen to you as well if you ask too much of yourself.

You will become unmotivated you will ask yourself what is the point and you may give in.

The most successful people in the world and the best managers are those that can identify their own abilities and their employees abilities and potential and then set work/goals that will stretch their abilities without ever exceeding them.

These managers will invariably have highly motivated employees because he/she is getting the best out of them and they are feeling worthwhile.

There is a fine dividing line between goals that are too easy to achieve and goals that are probably out of your reach.

You can only ascertain which ones are which by using your common sense, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, knowing your potential to develop and learn and also by trail and error.

Goals can be and should be specified for particular areas of your life.

Your career, your finances, your possessions, your ambitions etc - for every area of your life you should set yourself goals in order for you to achieve more rewarding, fulfilling and successful outcomes.

What I would like to do at this point is to share some of the techniques and tips that I use with regards to the goals that I set myself and how I attain them.

You too can adopt these approaches.

As the saying goes An oral agreement isnt worth the paper it is written on

I believe that its no good if you say that you have got a goal when you havent written it down. You need commitment from yourself.

Setting Goals

An Example

What?
Lose 10 lbs in weight

Why?
It will give me greater confidence, enhance my self esteem and will make me more attractive to women

How?
Exercise, Diet, Allocating Time, Gym or home, etc

Chunking
Finding Gym, exercise routines, kit,  frequency
Nutrition
Time Management and organisation

Subgoals
Lose 2 lbs per month
Buy 1 new item of clothing each month
Visit gym 4 times per week
Increase distance or resistance each time

Timelines
Major Goal attained within 5 months xx/xx/2002
X weight in 2 months yy/yy/2002

Review
Whats going well?, What are the results? Do I need to adjust?

Adjust

Make sure that you write everything down, dont just commit it to memory.

If you havent already started to formulate your goals the exercises on the next couple of pages will help you to achieve just that.

For each of your goals brainstorm and write down all of the things you will need to do in order to achieve each goal.

What will you need?
Are you experienced enough?
Who can help?
What will you have to do?
Is there a cost?
Do you need any equipment?
Do you require any capital?

Chunk all of the actions into 3 or 4 main areas and then class these as sub goals and put deadlines on each.

Then, GO FOR IT!

On achievement of these goals it will give you great self-confidence and will set you on your way in achieving that winning habit. It will also put you in the right frame of mind to achieve greater feats.

Other uses of goal attainment

The use of goal attainment should be used in every day of your life.

If you are attending a course at work, establish exactly what you want to get out of it and why - what are your goals and objectives?

If you have got an important interview, set yourself the goal of getting up an hour earlier so that you can go through your notes once again.

If you are playing a round of golf and you shot a 75 last time around, set yourself the target of 73. And if you can lift 200 pounds at the gym, try for 210.

By setting yourself goals and by doing so in both the short and the long term, you will find that you will do things better, more efficiently, your performance will be enhanced in everything that you do and you will have more enjoyment.

You will find that you will start to attract more opportunities and you will become more successful in everything that you do.

There now follows a short case study which will illustrate the importance of goal setting in the workplace.

If you have staff, no matter what their experience, you will get the best out of them and aid their development when you set goals for them to achieve.

How to Get What You Want Pt 2

Part 2: The goal setting workshop
Mapping out what you want in your life from hereon in!

Dont forget to complete your assignments!

HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

Part 2

The goal setting workshop - mapping out what you
want in your life from hereon in!

Thank you for completing the first session.

Hopefully you have put some things into perspective in your life?

Many people who complete part 1 really have to do some soul searching and find that it is such a valuable lesson.

Did you think that you needed to start work on some things and to stop certain things as well?

Assignment 1

Before we carry on, have another quick look at what you put down last week and having had time to reflect on what you put, answer the questions below:

What was the one learning point that came out of the exercise more than any other?

What are you going to start to do?

What are you going to stop?

What have you been putting up with in the past that you shouldnt have been?

What are you going to do instead of this?

What are you going to move towards in the future?

Ok , now is the time when you can be a little kid again! (But I already am, I hear you cry!)

I would like you to complete the following goal setting workshop to really focus on what you want in the future.

Throughout the exercise I want you to dream big dreams and little dreams.

Let there be no limits to your thinking!

Ok, here comes the exercise!

Create Your Goals

In order to feel confident you need to have some certainty in your life that what you are doing is contributing to an end result.

What you completed in session 1 was to put your life into perspective and to look at what it all means to you when all is said and done.

We are all goal seeking animals and the worst thing you can do is to mistake activity for accomplishment because then you wonder why you are not achieving anything in life and when you feel like that your confidence takes a battering.

Have you got any goals mapped out for each area of your life?

If not, then read on and complete this exercise.

Goal Creation Exercise:

With regards to the following areas in your life:

Career
Relationships
Fun
Achievements
Money
Possessions

Take 6 pieces of paper for the 6 areas above and under each heading brainstorm for 3 minutes and write down all of the things you would like to have, achieve and do in each area.

Dont worry about how big the goals seem, just get them down and dont think too much about them  just keep writing!

After you have completed the first part of the exercise you should have 6 pieces of paper full of everything that you would like to achieve for each area.

Next, Id like you to write down timescales next to each of when you would like to realistically achieve them by.

The timescale categories are:

Less than 1 year
1  3 years
3 years plus

So, lets recap where we are!

You should have got 6 lists of things that you want to achieve in the 6 areas of your life mentioned above and you have categorized each into when you would like to achieve them by.

Next, Id like you to take your LESS THAN 1 YEAR goals for each area and select the top 2 for each one.

So now you have got 12 goals that you can achieve within 1 year.

Before we start to write down an action plan (thats next week by the way) of how to achieve each goal Id like you write down the compelling reasons why achieving each goal is an absolute must for you.

Unless you have compelling reasons why you MUST make these goals happen then you will not have the motivation to achieve them.

Having goals that are SHOULDS will not get you out of bed each day and keep you up late!

Youve got to turn your I SHOULD DO THIS to I MUST DO THIS

So, below write out what the goal is and why you MUST achieve it.

What pleasure will it give you?

What will you be able to do?

What will you miss out on if you dont complete it?

Why is it so important to you?

Why is this a MUST rather then a SHOULD?

To recap then!

Brainstorm what you want in each area of your life
Put timescales next to each
Select your less than 1 year goals
Pick 2 goals from each of these.
Write down the compelling reasons why achieving each is a must in less than one year

Next time we will look at your goals and write detailed action plans!

How to Get What You Want

Today I amd starting a six part series called "How to Get What You Want". It is never too late for a fresh start. If you are makeing a new start or thinking about making one, then maybe this course is for you.
The next module will be here next Thursday.

The course will enable you to stop drifting along in life  instead you will discover what your life is all about and how you can improve it.
You only live once so you'd better make the most of the time while you are here!
“How to get what you want” will be your very own life map of where you are now to where you want to get to.
You will soon rediscover those lost ambitions, those dreams that had fallen by the wayside.
This is the time to start a fresh. So start right now!

Here is part one:

How To Get What You Want
Introduction

Welcome to ”How To Get What You Want”!

Over the next 6 modules we are going to uncover what it is that you truly want from life and how you are going to get it!

Life is just too short for wishes and Should haves. Instead, what we are going to do is to design the life that YOU want and actually go out there and grab it!

In today's session we are going to look at what success actually means to you and then we will discuss what the purpose of your life is.

This is a really cool session and sets the foundation on what your life is based on.

So, grab a coffee, get a pen and get ready for this weeks session.

Part 1: Discover what your life is really about
What is success?

Everyone in life wants to be a success. Success, no matter what it may mean to you or anyone usually results in more happiness, more fulfillment, rewards, money and the like.

There is no one definition of success. It means different things to different people. One persons definition may be totally different to anothers.

Your definition of what success actually is can change as well.

One thing that is common amongst everyone is that everyone wants to be a success and nothing in life is better than success!

Just take time out and think what success actually means to you.

Write your definition of what success is in the space below or on a piece of paper.

Do not carry on reading this until you have done so.

If you havent filled in the above space do it now! Dont cheat yourself!

Sometimes you really need to have a good think about what is important to you when you define what success means.

Sometimes you really need to have a good think about what is important to you when you define what success means.

Take the following two examples:

Bill is a 30 year old married man who works in a shop.

Every night he returns home from work at 5.15pm and is greeted by his loving wife at the door who gives him a kiss and a hug.

He plays games with his children and always tucks them in at bedtime and reads them a story.

They have a family vacation each year and are comfortable even though they sometimes go without to please the kids.

The family spends a lot of time together.

Jane is 28 years old and is single.

She works in the City and will be lucky to reach her apartment before 7.00pm of a night.

She rarely socializes due to her hectic workload and due to the fact that she is always too tired to go out.

She lives in an affluent area in the city and drives a sports car. She could afford to go anywhere in the world on vacation but never does so incase she misses out on something happening at work.

Jane has few friends and sometimes is lonely The money makes up for it though she states.

The question now is, in your opinion:

Which one of the above is the most successful to you?

When I was in my teens I would have said Jane without doubt.

She has got plenty of money, shes got a great car and a great job.

Nowadays, I would probably say Bill as he seems the most happiest, content with life and is fulfilled.

Once again it will depend on your definition, and your definition of success will have been formed by a number of factors.

Your definition of success will have been formed by a number of factors.

Your definition of success is formed by:

Your upbringing
Your beliefs
Traits
Your attitude
Your peers
Society
Every experience that you have in life
All of the above will contribute as to what success means to you.

There is a myth that states that people are born winners or born losers.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

There are techniques, methods and ways of behaving that will enable and help you to succeed.

You owe it to yourself to get the most out of your life.

The worst thing that you can do is to look back in 40 or 50 years time and say I wish I had done this or I wish I had done that.

Know where you are going in life

Creating a vision and a mission of what you want out of life will provide you with some direction and momentum to move forward.

Do you feel as though you are stuck in a rut or lack some direction and purpose to your life? Are you just drifting along from one day to the next?

What is your life all about?

Do you let events happen to you rather than going out and making them happen?

When you have a compelling vision, you will feel good about yourself. You know where you are going life and have a purpose to it all.

When you feel in control of your life and events you will naturally feel more confident and motivated to achieve more.

Ask yourself the following question:
What do you really want to get out of life?

A true mission has to express your purpose for existence.

I have devised a series of questions for you to ask yourself in order for you to do some soul searching and to give yourself some insights into what you are all about and why you are here:

When you were a child, what did you want to be When you grew up?
Name three people who have had the biggest influence on your life and why?
If you could do anything for a living and get paid whatever you wanted, what would you do?
Name your top three achievements of your life so far?
What was so special about them?
When you are at your most happiest in life? what are you doing?
Name three people that you admire the most?
Why do you admire them? What characteristics and qualities do they have?
Have you ever done anything for anyone less fortunate than yourself?
If yes, what was it? If no, why not?
What are your greatest strengths?
What could you do in life to maximize your strengths?
Is there anything that you would be willing to put everything on the line for?
What would it be and why?
If you could have your time over again, what would you have done so far?
What results are you currently having in your life which you are pleased with?
What results are you currently having in your life which you are not pleased with?
If you could pass on a piece of wisdom to the whole world that you have learned in your life to date, what would it be?
What do you value the most in your life?
What would you really like to do with your life?

The whole point of getting you to think about those questions above was to really get you to think about what you want and wanted for your life.

Answer the questions yourself and write down your own mission statement below:

Writing a mission statement is not easy and it shouldnt be something that is rushed.

It shouldnt be something that is just put on a to do list to be fitted in-between dinner and bedtime either!

Instead, if possible you should try and get away from your normal environment.
Go for a walk, or take a short break  your mission in life is far too important to be skimmed over.

When people lack a mission in life, they tend to just have materialistic goals and want things.

But after people have achieved, achieved and achieved some more they say to themselves Is that all there is?

Success without fulfillment is failure!

Your mission statement is just that; it is a statement about why you are here on earth.
Another good exercise for you to complete is to write your own obituary!

This is an ideal way to get you to think about what you want to do in your life time.

Pretend that you have just passed on; think about your achievements, your lifes work and what you have done for others in your lifetime.

What will you be remembered for when you pass on?

Write your own obituary of what your life was about and what difference it made.