How to Get What You Want Part 5

Next Steps. How to Stay Motivated.

HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

PART 5 – HOW TO KEEP MOTIVATED & MAKE THE CHANGES

Welcome to PART 5.

It’s all well and good you having a list of goals to accomplish and all that, but how do you stay motivated?

You might think that you want to accomplish your goal but what about the choices you have to make when things get in the way?

Like the mixed feelings you get when you know you should be stopping in to do some work to achieve a goal but the sun is shining outside and you want that tan!

Have a look over the goals that you have written again and the compelling reasons why you want to achieve them.

If this is the first time you have looked at them since you completed the exercise, my first observation to you is that they are NOT COMPELLING goals.

You do not REALLY - REALLY - REALLY want to achieve them – so do the exercise again.

I would rather you have 3 MUST HAVE goals to work on rather than 10 wishy washy goals.

Look at the reasons why you want to achieve each goal. When reading them do they fill you with a tingle of excitement?

If they do, great!

If not, either the goal is not good enough or your reasons why you are doing it are not COMPELLING enough.

This is very important!

The reason why people do not stay focused is that they do not have goals that are MUST HAVES.

They are just NICE TO HAVES.

“It would be nice to lose some weight”

“It would be nice to have a new job”

Those goals are not going to get you up early and keep you up late! And now a word on actually carrying out your goals.

How to GET MOTIVATED!

To change anything in your life requires confidence.

Here is a formula that will help you to change anything that you want and to get you to take action!

It will help you to understand the forces at play when you are faced with making a decision as to whether changing or doing something is a must or a nice to have.

The Change Formula

There is a simple equation that you can apply to anything and everything when you are faced with a decision as to whether you want to do something or not

When faced with such a situation I strongly urge you to use this.

D x V x P > C

DISATISFACTION WITH THE STATUS QUO

Basically, to start with you must be unhappy with the present situation.

VISION

Here, you must have a vision of the situation or position that you want and why you want it.

PRACTICAL STEPS

Lastly, you must know what will be involved in order for you to change.
You need to draw up an action plan of what you need to do.

COST OF CHANGING

What will you have to sacrifice in order to change, what will be the costs? Will you have to change your beliefs?

The D x V x P will create your desire to change but you will only change if your desire is greater than the associated costs of changing (C).

Let me illustrate this by telling you a story.

The lecturer who first introduced me to this equation was quite a large lady but was an absolutely lovely person and attractive too.

We'll call her Hazel as I don't know where she now lives to give me permission to use her name!

I remember her saying to me that she went back to the village of her childhood one day and went into the local newsagent where she used to buy her sweets as a child.

There she saw the exact same shop owner whom 20 years hence she used to buy her sweets from.

She approached him and said "You don't remember me do you Mr. Brown?, It's Hazel, I used to buy sweets in this shop from you about 20 years ago."

"Hazel? I remember you" he replied "What an earth has happened to you? Haven't you let yourself go?"

You could imagine what it must have felt like for Hazel as she left the shop.

Now, for most of us a cruel comment like that would fuel some desire as it did for Hazel, and yes she had a vision of what she would look like if she lost some weight. She also knew the practical steps that she would need i.e.: a diet and exercise program, if she was going to change.

Hazel decided not to change.

SHE HAD NO MOTIVATION TO CHANGE

She saw that the cost of changing would be greater than her desire to change.

She enjoyed her food, she enjoyed socializing, she enjoyed going out and after a hard days work the last thing she would need is to go to a gym and eat a lettuce leaf for dinner when all she really wanted to was to wind down at home with a bottle of chardonnay.

I admire Hazel so much.

There is a lot of pressure on people to be thin these days.

If Hazel were to go ahead and diet and exercise she would have been thin - but do you think she would have been happy?

I don't think so.

As Anthony Robbins says –

Achievement without Fulfillment is Failure

The costs of changing to Hazel far outweighed what she was going to get in return.

I truly believe that the main reason why people break their diets or give up on their exercise regime is because they haven't carefully considered what they will have to go without or the sacrifices that they will have to make in order to succeed.

Instead they start, make some progress, but then make the decision to give up.

Sure, not eating any sweets for a week is easy.

But for 2, 3 or 4 weeks?

People don't mind making short term sacrifices but they tend to give up if this sacrifice needs extending in order to succeed.

What people should do is to identify these potential problems before they start by using something like the Change formula or by listing the pros and cons of changing and not changing.

At least then you would be going into the situation fully present and would not have to give up half way through which, nine times out of ten, results in yet another blow to your self-esteem.

Comments such as "I have no will-power" probably mean that you are enjoying doing something else than what you are actually doing - and there is nothing wrong with that.

My wife always uses the excuse about having no will power. She adores her food and so do I.

She's not even big.

I keep stressing to her though that she relates more pleasure to eating than she does to dieting and that she only wants to change to please other people.

She is a very beautiful woman, happy the way she is and I love her very much.

So, when faced with a decision to change think of the formula, work it out for yourself and then have the confidence and conviction to see it through.

Now go back over the things that you have written down where you lack motivation and put them into this formula – see what dynamics are at play.

SHOULD I CHANGE? Remember D x V x P > C

That’s it for this module, see you next time with: